Taking Responsibility as a Man | by Mickel Pratt | October 2024

Responsibility requires vulnerability.

The buck stops with us men, like it or not we are held to a specific standard by our society. I believe it is not up to society to tell me how I am to be and or live my life! I believe it is up to me to set the standards, and the tone in which I operate. I feel that as men, we need to show up in the world in ways that bring balance, and stability to ourselves so that we can bring that balance, and stability we created to our families and community. Stability within ourselves requires vulnerability with ourselves. I believe as men we need to start looking at our shadows and start to love aspects of ourselves that we have shamed, and guilted, or flat out ignored. I believe we need to start connecting with our emotions, and learn to communicate them clearly. I believe we should find love within ourselves instead of looking for external validation through material gain, power, position, or people we respect/admire. We are all unique and have beautiful qualities to share with this world. We can not share our light with the world if we keep suppressing it because we don't feel good enough, or believing that the love you seek is outside of yourself. Men you are good enough, you are seen, you are heard, and your voice matters.

What I am saying to you is, start loving yourself so that you can step deeper into your purpose here on this planet. When you love yourself, you create trust in yourself. When you trust yourself, your confidence in yourself will build. Who doesn't want to be more confident in themselves, especially as a man. This process is a long game, a big picture process. We have all heard the quote, “if it was easy then everyone would do it.” When it comes to taking responsibility for your life, that quote is true. Our life is our responsibility, so when there are aspects of life that we want changed, we are required to do the “dirty work.” Here is the big kicker… The majority of the work required to love yourself goes against societal norms. This means when you walk this path you will be walking against the herd.

Loving yourself is a great way to combat mental health issues such as depression and suicide. I should know as I had planned and rehearsed my own suicide attempt when I was 26 years old. When I started to show myself love and affection in the areas of need, life wasn't as heavy anymore. Feeling my suppressed feelings of anger or resentment at my parents allowed me to acknowledge that I had feelings to feel. The next step was to sit with them and work them out as an adult. What did I need in the moment as a child from my parents, that I can give myself now, and resolve this issue. Once you figure that out it's time to make pivots. For me it was telling myself how great I am, how smart I am, or how capable I am, all while looking into my eyes in the mirror. I started to feel whole again, which gave me more confidence. My mood improved, and my negative thoughts about killing myself started to fade away. I started taking responsibility for my life and my life started improving in ways I couldn't even imagine.

Writing down positive affirmations/statements about yourself, or life, and sticking them in places that you frequently see is a great way to ease into loving yourself. Each time you see them repeat out loud or in your head those statements. This process helps combate a negative mindset as well as boosts your confidence. A bonus win out of that technique is that if anyone else in the house sees those it gives them an opportunity to join in. My wife and I have multiple sticky notes with positive affirmations that we see and say frequently. They are a great reminder of how incredible we actually are as humans, and it instills a deep belief in myself that I am capable of anything.

Honestly reflect on how you show up in your world as a man. How do you handle your emotions? Do you feel them? Do you suppress them? Are you even aware of your emotional behavior? These are good questions to write down and get clear on for yourself. It's time for us to take responsibility for ourselves so that we can make the biggest impact possible in our world. It's time for us to create a new world full of trust, understanding, love, and clear communication. It's time to be the change we want to see in the world.

Much love,

Mickel Pratt